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Comics are unrealistic

I know this is not in the usual style of this Blog, but I found something so out of touch with reality in Batgirl #36 that I need to share it with you. Please follow me on this journey.

(Warning: spoilers for Batgirl #34–#36. Also, I'm assuming you know who Batgirl is.)

Our story starts in Batgirl #34 with Barbara Gordon (aka Batgirl) missing a meeting with her business partner Alysia and some of her company's investors due to bat-related obligations:

Batgirl talking to Alysia

As it turns out, the investors are not happy. They bought plenty of shares in the company, and want to use their position to push Barbara Gordon out:

Investors want to fire Barbara

Unfortunately for them, they don't have enough shares to kick her out. Even Alysia tells them so. But they wouldn't be important shareholders if they didn't have a backup plan, right?

Investors start their evil speech

You see: many issues ago, Barbara hired Pamela Isley (aka Poison Ivy, known eco-terrorist and occasional villain) to develop bee-friendly plant fertilizer for their company (it's a long story - see "Batgirl and the Birds of Prey" #12 for details).

The investors have now found out, and want to use this information to blackmail Alysia into kicking her friend out of the company. If Alysia does not agree to fire Barbara, they'll make this information public, tank the company, and put all their employees on the street:

Investors threaten to do what I just said

But here's the thing: those investors have acquired a lot of the company. That is, they own it because they paid for it. Do you know what would happen to that investment if they went along with their plan? Yup, you guessed it: gone. All of it. Millions of dollars lost just to spite one of the company's founders. And it's not like they can sell their stock either: doing so in this situation is a clear-cut case of insider trading. Barbara Gordon may end up on the streets, but those investors would end up in jail.

You would expect a smart executive like Alysia to thank the investors for their valuable input, promise to call them back, get a good night sleep, and (at worst) negotiate a good separation agreement for her friend. A less smart person (but smart nonetheless) would have called their bluff: Mutually Assured Destruction is a good stalling tactic, but only an idiot would actually follow through.

Of course, none of these perfectly reasonable suggestions occur to Alysia. She kicks Barbara out of the company instead, leaving her broke and homeless.

And here is where I draw the line. See, I'm fine with the idea of an early-20s super-genius with photographic memory jumping from rooftops and fighting crime without the Police Commisioner noticing that she looks exactly like his daughter. But now you want me to believe that executives from a million-dollar company wouldn't have the simplest grasp of economy? Hell, do you want me to believe that you can organize a hostile takeover, fire a company founder, and freeze their assets in less than 3 hours?! Talk about nonsense.

With that out of the way, and as a final point, I would like to call your attention to Alysia's last words to Barbara. I think you'll agree that her frustration is a little... misplaced.

Alysia blames Barbara for giving up

No, Alysia, Barbara isn't letting "them" take away her life's work. That one's entirely on you.